Hiya — Here are some highlights of Sari and Josh’s wedding held in the Magic City of Minot, North Dakota on June 27, 2009. Since my sis was official photographer, I wanted to photo-document her presence in the celebration. However, I also planned to videotape the shindig so I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. In any case, I regret I had but one set of hands to do the rumba as Dad and/or Patrick Henry would say. With H’s Casio and my lowly cell phone, I harassed guests as much as possible. To view fantastic formal photos of this event, visit Irene’s blog: www.imagesbyirene.com
Take-no-prisoners Groom contemplates his future with a wild filly
* * *
the queasy Bride
in her noggin
she may be thinkin’
Lord should I be
seriously drinkin’ ?
Am I making the right decision?
Is this stuff mayo or miracle whip?
And just how wild is that bachelor party anyway?
Jana phones her son during a
game of “How Well Do You Know The Bride & Groom”
Apparently not so much. . .
Jackie snaps Sari with her Mom and Aunties
Vickie, Kayla, Sari and Whitney
One of ’em looks mighty suspicious. . .
Auntie Irene & Bride’s Mum shill for camera
Kayla, faithful Bridesmaid,
intrepid Shower Organizer
beams proudly, as she hosts
a mix of friends and riffraff, er,
families who’ve just met. . .
“Are you kidding me?? He said what in the where??
Am I going to have to bitchslap someone?
Jana and Kaleigh size up the room . . .
North Dakota’s formidable wedding experts
a/k/a Sari’s sisters, Jackie & Jen
Step-Mum Wendy shows off pics
from Minot’s record-breaking snowfall . . .
As Vickie literally hangs on for dear life to Kayla
(foreshadowing her future condition),
Sari is kidnapped for a Humiliate-the-Princess-Bride-Ride through Minot
while grinning and bearing it through her nuclear-whitened teeth.
Yes, the bridal party are about to assault
the citizens of Minot with a bar-hopping scheme
intending to extract lots of dinero from the hapless locals
How’d they make out, you ask?
Let’s just say they cleaned up – real good . . .
Goodbye, Single World . . .
Back at the hotel, Irene checks equipment, and her cell,
just in case any mysterious breakfast-paying stranger
has left any pre-paid message . . .
Bride’s Mom and Stepmom have shockingly decided to join the bar-hoppers;
at the hotel, Aunties I & O are engrossed in news covering
MJ’s shocking demise. Early Jackson 5 footage inspires Irene. .
. . . to test some night shots on Auntie O,
who, for a change, is suspiciously cooperative.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town,
the bar-hopping ladies are drawing attention
from Minot’s, let’s just say, less than desirables. . .
. . .
THE BIG DAY aka ‘ YIKES ! ‘
Party planner Jackie “Martha Stewart”
initiates a spur-of-the-moment Church Decorating Committee.
Removing the wall postings that would have looked like crap in the formal photos,
Auntie O risks deadly wrath from Pastor John. Luckily, Pastor John was not around
during said removal. That little matter would have to be dealt with after the ceremony. . .
Jackie shows how it’s done as
Jen takes a break with a pre-wedding vodka.
Jackie makes it look so easy – not
In Mount Zion’s dressing room,
Mum channels Coco Channel with Wendy
Meanwhile, Scarlett is helped by Mammy into her ball gown, er,
Bride is assisted with trousseau by trusty Bridesmaid…
This work is not for the faint-of-heart…
To their surprise, Kayla discovers a small mammal lurking in Sari’s lining.
Kayla assists a frazzled Vickie Christina
as she struggles to steam out her wrinkled gown,
a tragic victim of bachelorette’s night out,
the dress took a collateral shot – don’t ask !
with her fabulous footsies. . .
While cousin Jonelle flashes a million-watt smile,
Sari counts flowers with numerologist Hayden.
Yah, I swear, I’m tellin’ yah Goldman Sacs is goin’ down!
Through all the fuss and snapping,
the Bride is pensive – vapors anyone? …
The Photog is not above barking out orders,
“I want you here, here, and there.
And smile like you mean it, dammit!”
Hayden takes his mini-pillow duties very seriously…
Lovely Jen has been celebrating for some time now. . .
An amazing achievement !
Amazing cause Papa forgot to mug for the camera
. . . Sari’s quiet courage is captured as she wonders,
how long Dad can hold off on the mugging. . .
Dad comes through with flying colors. . .
. . .
To enjoy the formal wedding photos,
steer yourself to Irene’s website
. . .
In the swanky limo, Irene shows Josh an awesome shot,
while Sari, post-ceremony, could be dreaming of Bruegger’s Bagels.
Mesmerized by her crazy good shots,
Irene temporarily eschews the wedding party…
Bouquet shares an artsy moment with Bride
Glowing with that post-wedding glazed gaze:
Josh’s turn to look spacy
next to the sensibly-cobbled Photog
. . .
YO – IT’S RECEPTION TIME
Fulfilling their duty
Satisfying the mob
Bride & Groom hoof it up….
Hey you try dancin’ in this dress, Mister
Serious muscles on the Photog.
“Wedding Photog Doubles as Bouncer”
Magic, pure magic ! Literally. At this captivating moment,
disco lights blasted the couples’ complexions in fire engine red,
making it a challenge to revert them to a more natural coloring.
Momma hits the dance floor.
Look out ! No, seriously, look out.
Momma likes to boogie . . .
Sari secretly hoped to elope with Hayden
(seen here doing an abbreviated “Thriller”)
apparently State law frowns upon it.
(the eloping with a minor,
not abbreviating Thriller)
Lovely Moms, Helena and Jana,
share a champagne-soaked moment.
To the crowd’s delight, much, much later in the evening,
the ladies broke into an impromptu romp from “Lord of the Dance.”
Tenacious Photog — still on the prowl,
not quite ready to collapse yet. . .
A tipsy Whitney tips a martini to her friends’ new marital status.
Props go out to Sari’s effervescent bro, Timmy,
who did a magical job transforming the reception.
Well-wishers sign the ridiculously romantic portrait
of Josh’s electrifying proposal to Sari at the Hoover Dam.
. . .
THE FOLLOWING DAY – BARELY SIX HOURS AFTER RECEPTION ENDS . . .
The new couple are forced to open their gifts in public
before the groom’s family blows out of town. . .
What I mean is, it’s freakishly early, people.
. . . if Sari’s expression and her new husband’s delirious laugh is any indication. . .
Josh’s brother Jake – who winsomely trimmed his beard
for his disgruntled sister-in-law – visits the buffet.
PS Did I mention he’s a champion wrestler and loves pottery?
Girls, don’t bother lining up. Amanda’s got dibs.
The cheeky sneaky Jerod.
Just shared a dirty joke with the Best Man.
Jerod, Kaleigh and Gramps
have a laugh over the ham rollups.
Said ham rollups bear a curiously similar resemblance to….
… eh? No? Forget I said anything
Sari’s Mom and Aunties head east for Minnesota in their rental car
while Sari & Josh prepare to haul ass to the Wild West,
Billings to be exact, to begin their connubial bliss
while temporarily living with Ma and Pa T . . .
But the poor kids delayed departure, hoping their runaway kitty,
Hooja, would return in time – she who had sneakily
snuck outside during the morning chaos of the wedding day
and still not returned two days later . . .
Causing Sari and Josh to spend their wedding night
searching for clawless kitty in the wee hours of pre-dawn.
But don’t worry, this story has a drama-filled but happy ending. . .
Lots of rolling scenery in Minot . . .
and on the way back to Minnesota. . .
A foal on the road
* * *
Meanwhile, back in Minneapolis,
Uncle Pete takes care of Grandma.
Both attended “in spirit,” as Kayla says. . .
Big Sky, Montana – you bet.
But North Dakota ain’t no slouch, see?
Jana, Josh’s mum, comforts us,
“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of [Sari].”
With an Edward G. Robinson-inspired, “See?”
To be continued . . .
If you’d have seen me shoes, you’d understand. . .
NEXT TIME: What’s with all the J’s in these families???