Billings Becomes You


Our adventure begins in Billings, Montana,
where we flew in to visit Sari and Josh. . .
Their newly-wed home is charming and cozy,
and surprisingly crowded. . .


The Dramatis Personae


Hooja (emigre from Minot)


Tobie Won-Kenobi (Rascally Usurper from Montana)


 

Starring Josh and Sari


 

With duets from Sari & Tobie


and Josh & Hooja


 


 

and occasionally making an appearance,
foster-pup Parker . . .


.   .   .   generally in Perry Como repose


 

 

With guest star visitors — Momma Helen in $1 dollar garage-sale heat-vibrating booties. . .


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and OCD Camera-wielder Auntie O . . .


 

And, last, but not least,  Josh’s beloved Flatscreen. . .


 

*    *    *

 

For H and me, our journey began back in Minneapolis. . .

Where selfless Auntie Irene insists on getting up before the crack of dawn
to give us a ride to the Airport. . .

*   *   *

Before Billings, our flight takes us on a crazy dipsy doodle to Denver. . .
A bit out of the way, but some people will do anything for a modest discount. . .

The scenes below were spine-chilling. . .


 

 

 

 

 

From the air, Denver was a classic crazy quilt . . .


At Denver’s Airport, we meet this exotic little creature . . .
hauled about like some Burberry accessory
but clearly operating as some sort of auditory assistant

*     *     *     *


One hour later, we are back in the skies, crossing into Montana. . .

 

 

 

An astonishing Arctic footprint greets us . . .


 

Encrusted with snow and ice, the spine of the Rockies appears to shiver. . .


 

 


Suddenly, as quickly as it appeared, the Arctic landscape
dissolves into a warm carpet of colors and textures. . .


 

 

 

. . .even more entrancing. . .


 

Shadows steal over undulating earth. . .


 


 

A giant bear pawprint on the landscape  . . .   so very Montana !


 

 

 

Billings, nestled in a valley of mountain shadows

 


A River Runs Through It — Yellowstone, to be exact


*   *   *


From the delightfully compact airport, Sari picks us up
and delivers us to her and Josh’s humble chapeau. . .

The wind is crazy blustery !    I love it !!

 

It’s so exciting to see S & J in their new home,
yet while we are digesting this
Tobie is asked to display his talents in their spacious backyard. . .

 

Tobie’s charms are immediately apparent. . .

 

Though not so much from Hooja’s perspective
as she views the proceedings behind glass

Her rotten tomato rating?   “Show-off !”  [Mrrrow]

 

Josh and Tobie check on Iron Chef . . .

 

For our first night, Sari proudly serves a parmesan-crusted chicken
with tomato basil coulis and roast taters. . .
Mama Mia !  It’s delicioso !!

Quel coleurs ! . . .

 

Hooja’s View

 

That evening, Sari sets up a showing of Avatar
Having been up since 4 a.m., H and I vainly try to stay awake. . . .
No matter how much action is going on on-screen
We keep taking turns falling into a coma
Only to have Sari burst out, “Auntie, are you sleeping??”
Or, “Mom!  Are you asleep??”
Once, when I awoke, and blurted, “No!”, she quickly interrogated me,
“Well what just happened then?”
“Er,” I stalled, “The blue guy is being chased and there’s been lots of explosions,”
After Parker’s snickering, Sari threatened to pull the plug on movie night…
“No!” I protested deliriously, “Let’s just finish it. . .  I can stay up. . .”
Shortly thereafter, however, catching another conk-out, Sari finally had enough,
“Stop it!” she ordered Josh, a/k/a Captain Remote, “Stop it right now — turn it off,”
“No more of this while you two pretend to watch while you sleep !!!”

 

 

 

Apparently Sari takes Avatar viewings ver-r-r-y seriously. . . zzzzz

 

*       *       *

 

 

 

 

 

After a deep and pleasant slumber
(thanks to a tranquil Montana street)
We headed out for. .

MONTANA WALKIES !
(Minus Parker, in custody of his Whopper-lovin’ owner)
Don’t even get me started !!

 

In the backseat, Tobie is beside himself. . .
Check out those little pantaloons he naturally sports. . .

 

 

Oh sure, the weather looks spotty, and the skies might be spitting,

. . . but the spectacularly moody skies are the best, no?

 

 

 

Sari brings us to her favorite trail. . .

 

The magnificent Phipps Park

 

 

 

As western skies brew up a storm. . .

. . . which we vicariously view over the valley. . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Sari and H run into Lola’s exhausted owner . . .

 


Seems Lola ran off after some wildlife and her anxious owner
had been scouring the hills looking for her all afternoon . . .


Sari and I left H on this bench to rest her bum ankle. . .

 


 

while we ventured out to help look for Lola,
on the steep-ish hill she was last seen scampering up. . .

 

The climb was a bit hairy in spots. . .

 

H urged us to call out for Lola every so often. . .

 

Halfway up, we stopped to drink in the magnificent view

 

 

No Lola. . . .

 

Even Tobie seemed disturbed. . .

 

Having made our way to the ridge, there was nowhere further to go . . .
Well, there was, but the top was like an endless flat scrub plain. . .
You couldn’t tell how far the area stretched. . .
And time was running out. . .

When we first wound our way up
I heard a barking somewhere to our left, above the cliff,

 


But we never heard another bark or saw anyone that resembled Lola. . .

 

We did see Nixon’s profile in rock, however. . .

Disappointed, we made our way down. . .

Dusk was coming. . . The temps would soon drop. . .
Would Lola find a save haven for the night?

 

 

 

Billings’ Stonehenge

All we could do was hope and pray Lola was safe
squirreled away for the night in some cozy carved-out cavern in the hills. . .

*     *     *

While driving around rural Billings . . .

 

 

.  .  . we learn just how serious Viking fans Josh’s grandparents are . . .

 

 


STAY TUNED:    For another attempted Avatar-viewing. . .
Will Mom and Auntie be able to stay up this time?
or will Tobie and Parker disrupt the show with their wild WWF smackdowns??

Or will Hooja just kitty b*tch-slap everyone and send us all off to bed . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thought on “Billings Becomes You

  1. Stay tuned I will! Awesome job!! I laughed out loud! I loved it. Fun reliving the trip that seems forever ago. Your crazy pic takin’ ways are so worth it. Love ttyl Sara

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